FOURTH STAGE
I continued to post insights on my Instagram page but decided to pause my autobiography. I had completely burned myself out on so many different levels, and I no longer felt inspired to write about the events of my life, not until I discovered more about my biological father.
I turned 58 on July 22, 2019. I had completed the Tarot’s Death year and had transitioned into the Temperance year.
At 7:07 PM on September 10, 2019, while standing in the parking lot of my favorite park, I noticed the silhouette of a huge bird approaching from the east. The bird was flying very low and had a massive wing span. When the bird got within several yards of me, it dipped towards me, rose again, and turned towards the west. The bird was an owl… and I knew then I had to resume my journal.
A few days later, I learned that Robin Hobson was coming to Phoenix and instantly scheduled a 30-minute reading with him for October 7, 2019. I met Robin in January 2017 after taking several classes with him at Sun Camp Spiritualist Church in Tonopah, Arizona. Robin taught classes on mediumship, trance healing, and trance meditation.
On September 28, 2019, I decided to walk around the property and noticed a hawk circling in the sky overhead. I had not seen a hawk around the apartments in a few years. It circled over me for what must have been at least five minutes. It was so close that I could see its eyes. For reasons I couldn’t explain, I was inspired to order a second DNA test with 23AndMe.
My reading with Robin went as scheduled. I was told that our mother did NOT inform my siblings about my true identity. She carried that secret with her to her grave. At the same time, I knew there was a real possibility that someone overheard a private conversation along the way. I overheard a lot of things when I was growing up.
Most importantly, I was happy to hear that the man who raised me still considered me his son and a Jordan. That was my birth name, so it was irreversible. Although I played it very calmly during the reading, I needed to hear those words, and I was still very grateful that my mother continued to help guide me from the other side.
The reading inspired me to reflect on some childhood memories that may have been associated with my birth father.
- I remember sitting in the backseat of my parent’s vehicle with my mother and her best friend in the front seat. We had just left my grandmother’s house and turned onto MM Ray Road, heading towards Tabor City. My mother commented on a man in town with big, red lips. The comment registered because my siblings always made fun of my big, red lips.
- I vaguely remember walking around downtown Tabor City when I was a child.
I also remember walking into Rose’s Department store at Cum-Park Plaza in Burlington, NC, with my mother. It was Christmas time. A man blatantly whistled at her and smiled at us as he walked to his car. My mother said, “I think that was for you!” We both laughed. - I remembered my mother and I leaving my grandparent’s house and heading to the coast to meet with the rest of the family. My mother started crying, and when I asked what she was crying about, she just said it was nothing.
- When I was a child, my mother and I had returned home from a local store in Sunset Harbor. Jokingly, my mother mentioned running into a man from Varnamtown, and they talked for a while. My father, at the time, became extremely violent. I remember the night because things got ugly very quickly. I wondered if my birth father was the man that she was talking to at the store.
- My mother would never let my father lay a hand on me growing up. I was utterly off-limits to any discipline.
I received my 23AndMe DNA results a few weeks later, on Friday, October 25, 2019. That report revealed a first cousin who was K. J. Ray’s granddaughter. I was getting closer to the truth.
On January 1, 2020, I created a Facebook account using my K. J. Ray’s name. I posted my DNA results, pictures, and anything I thought was convincing enough to get someone from the Ray family to reach out. I emailed the link to the Facebook page to the person I suspected was my half-brother and then waited.
The apartments I had managed since March 2013 finally sold at the end of January 2020—no more working nights, weekends, and holidays or being tied down. Seven years of unconditional service finally came to an end. I was given a small bonus and had almost the same amount of money as when I set out on the 72 Days of God adventure ten years earlier. The past ten years of my life humbled and liberated me in ways that were difficult to express.
On the tenth anniversary of starting my journey, an extraordinary thing happened. I logged into my 23andMe account to see if I had any new relatives and discovered a new half-sister. She was K. J. Ray’s daughter. For the first time in my adult life, I knew the truth. It took me almost two years of nearly losing my mind, but in the end, I figured it out.
William Christopher Jordan meant “A Will, Bearing Christ, Flowing Down” or “I Am Christ Flowing Down.” With Ray’s last name added, it now meant “I Am Christ Flowing Down Ray Of Light.”