I received the tenth response to the Unconditional Love survey on December 24. Thanks, Joye! I greatly appreciate your response and wisdom.
Date of Reading: December 24, 2010
Participant’s Name: Joye
Joye’s Birthdate: 1/24/1964
1) Do you believe in Unconditional Love? If so, based on which religion or spiritual practice? I do believe in unconditional love. I am a Christian and was brought up in the Episcopal Church. But my belief in unconditional love has less to do with any organized religion than it does with spirituality. I do believe in God and because God loves me unconditionally, despite all my flaws and failings, I believe it can exist among human beings.
2) What does the concept of Unconditional Love mean to you personally? Unconditional love to me means total and complete acceptance. And it means expressing that acceptance not only in words, but also in actions. Unconditional love, however, doesn’t mean that I validate everything that the object of my love does. It does mean that I accept them, no matter what, even if I disagree with what they’ve done or said, even if I don’t understand it, and even if I’ve been hurt by it. Unconditional love to me is the highest form of love, and I think it’s also the most rare form of love. I am certain that it can exist between a parent and child, but less certain that it can exist in relationships between adults, whether friendships or romantic relationships.
3) Does your faith teach Unconditional Love? If so, please share that teaching here. My faith, as expressed in an early answer, does teach unconditional love. God’s love for me is completely unconditional. I didn’t do anything to gain it, and I can’t do anything to lose it. I think the ultimate teaching of unconditional love came in God’s ultimate sacrifice: He gave his Son so that those of us who accept Jesus as our personal savior would have everlasting life.
4) Are you political? How do you practice Unconditional Love in your politics? I am political, but I don’t necessarily practice unconditional love in my politics—although maybe I should. I do try — again, not as hard as I should — to understand those whose politics are completely different from my own. I have found that for me, understanding often has to come before acceptance, especially where political views are concerned.
5) Do you practice Unconditional Love in your everyday life? I am blessed to have a daughter who just turned 14 yesterday. And I definitely get a lot of opportunity to “practice” expressing and feeling unconditional love — and if you spend much time with a teenager, you know what I mean! I try hard each and every day to accept my daughter for who she is and love her unconditionally because I believe that it is my obligation as a parent. And for me, she is no doubt the easiest person in my life to love, even when our relationship is rocky, even when we don’t understand each other or even LIKE each other very much.
6) Have you ever experienced Unconditional Love from another human being? If so, please share your experience here. Unfortunately, I am just not sure that I have. Maybe you can only really experience unconditional love in the parent-child relationship. I imagine my parents’ love for me was unconditional when I was small. I am not sure that it remained that way because I think they may have based their love for me on my willingness to do what they thought I should do. But I never had that kind of conversation with them, so I guess I will never know. However, my daughter says she loves me unconditionally, so I guess I am experiencing it right now! The love between adults (outside of parent-child) is not truly unconditional in my view because it’s based on certain expectations and conditions being met—and it should be. I don’t think it’s realistic to expect that your partner or spouse will love you no matter what you do or say; if they did, their love would be fanatical and not based on real, enduring and genuine emotion.
That evening I changed the word “Love” to “Peace.”