“Oh Father” was from Madonna’s fourth studio album, Like a Prayer (1989). The single was released as the fourth single from the album on October 24, 1989, by Sire Records. “Maybe someday When I look back I’ll be able to say You didn’t mean to be cruel Somebody hurt you too.”
As I continued to contemplate the timing of my possible return to North Carolina I thought about my story, especially when it came to some things I had written about certain members of my family.
I felt what I felt and I wrote what I wrote at the time as an honest reflection of what was going through my mind at that particular moment. If I were to write my story in August 2023 the story would probably be very different, or might not even exist at all. In my attempt to keep my story authentic, everything had to remain as it was since my story was primarily about my own growth and experiences.
I guess the same could be said about “Oh Father” by Madonna. This song and video appeared to express how she felt about her relationship with her father (and the Catholic church) back in the late 1980s. I couldn’t help but wonder if this song and video would even come into existence in 2023. The same could be said about the documentary, “Truth or Dare“. Since I didn’t know Madonna it was hard to say.
Writing the story about my life was a very interesting exercise for me because as I aged my perspective about my past evolved and changed. The same could be said about myself and my relationships with my family.
The painful experiences that affected me so deeply during my childhood, 20s, and 30s were still there but had a very weak presence. There were so many things about that time in my life that I left out of my story mainly because it was way too personal. I didn’t want other family members to know about some of the things that really happened.
The same could be said for In Search of Christ. Some of the personal sacrifices I made during this time of my life were never revealed or shared because I knew it would bring dishonor to someone else. In Search of Christ was a spiritual commitment for me. I took responsibility for the outcome no matter what other people thought about it.
In Search of Christ taught me how to walk on the watery emotions that I struggled with as a younger man. I learned how to master those things in ways that I never thought I could. It was not an easy thing to do and I wasn’t always successful but I gave it everything I had. That could not be disputed.
Strangely enough, as I continued to survive and persevere a part of me did miss the intensity, the passion, and the creativity that stemmed from those addictive, heart-felt, overwhelming emotions from my youth. I could remember thinking that they would never go away.
One thing was certain. If I had not left North Carolina and embarked on my adventure the following would never have happened.
So for me, everything I did was worth it. Everything!
Moon in the Fourth House: My Personal Astrology Chart
The Moon was found in the fourth house at the time of your birth. Moon here will definitely influence events concerning your mother, places of residence, and family matters. Both your childhood and even your older age will be characterized by a love of romance, various journeys, and interesting adventures. The liability of this astrological combination is that it gives you an uncertain position in life and a perpetual striving for material security that seems to be hard to come by. This may be relieved temporarily by your receiving a small inheritance and will be almost overcome by the final years of your life by excellent family care and assistance. – © Astro.com
And now I had a chance to return to the place where it all began and so I paused for a moment to ask myself the question: Was it time?