SEPTEMBER 2023
I spent the next several weeks watching the stars, waiting for the Pleiades to return to the night sky. This constellation was all about The Ancestors. (See 00:00 through 00:39 of The Enlightenment, which symbolized The Pleiades – The Seven Sisters.)
On September 13, 2023, Ricardo and I had our Last Supper together. (See 00:40 through 01:28 of The Enlightenment.) I left Oakland Hills, California, on September 14, 2023, at 11:00 AM.
I did so without reservation as I pulled away from my 34th residence. I knew I wouldn’t pass the California state line if I looked in my rearview mirror. Aside from the home I grew up in as a child, I was leaving a really good friend and the best place I had ever lived in in the 62 years of living.
The main reason for leaving was that Ricardo was unsure what to do with the house. We had worked on it for the last 3 1/2 years, and he couldn’t decide whether to sell, rent, or continue to live there now that everything was finished. Being a Gemini, he was prone to changing his mind in the blink of an eye, which was always a bit unsettling.
After my van was stolen in November 2022, the ten months that followed were very difficult for me. Even though I could use Ricardo’s BMW from time to time, I found myself cooped up in the house most of the time. A walk to the store involved a 30-minute hike down a 700-foot mountainside, a short walk to the store, and a strenuous, steep hike back up the mountain.
The worst part was not being able to get to the gym regularly. It hindered my mental and physical health. I devoted thirteen years of unconditional love to our friendship, but it was time for a change. I had no choice but to leave, which broke my heart. I couldn’t Justify My Love any longer. (See 01:29 through 04:26 of The Enlightenment. Ricardo was Mexican, wearing masks, facing the reality of my childhood, finding my Nordic ancestors, and saying goodbye to Ricardo.)
After leaving Ricardo’s home in Oakland, I stayed overnight in Palm Springs. On September 15, I continued to The Transfiguration of Christ Mountain in Phoenix, Montezuma Well, and Hopi land.
I arrived at Hopi around 6:00 PM. As I crossed onto Hopi Land, I saw a beautiful rainbow, and rain poured down from the sky. I could feel Ahote’s presence.
When I entered Tuwa’s front door, she said, “Welcome Home!” I was so happy to see her and to be back at Hopi. I missed Ahote instantly. It had been five months since his passing. Tuwa spent the next hour catching me up on everything leading up to his passing, and then she filled me in on everything that took place with their son, who died a couple of years earlier. The visit was bittersweet, but I felt very much at home.
As I left Hopi, I drove by Ahote’s and their son’s gravesites, threw them both a gentle kiss and a wave, and headed towards Holbrook, Arizona, for the night. Tears rolled down my face most of the way, my heart completely broken once again.
I spent the next several days driving through Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Tennessee before finally arriving in North Carolina on Tuesday, September 19. The worst part of the long drive was being pulled over in Tennessee and having my vehicle searched for drugs. It didn’t help that my rental had California tags.
Once I arrived in my hometown, I booked a hotel for the night and spent the following morning visiting the house where I grew up, my parents’ gravesites, and my mother’s baby brother. My Uncle Seth was now 89 years old. He and I visited for an hour or so, and then my sister’s husband showed up, and the three of us went to lunch. After we had lunch, I drove to my sister’s daughter’s (my niece) job to give her a quick hug and a kiss. I held my breath during these visits because I wasn’t sure how I would be received. It had almost been three years since my sister died, five years since the chaos of my first DNA test, and eight years since my last visit. (See 04:27 through 05:36 of The Enlightenment – My return to my family and North Carolina.)
Once I made my rounds, I drove to Wilmington, North Carolina. On my way to Wilmington, I stopped by Tabor City, North Carolina, to visit my birth father’s gravesite for the very first time. I arrived shortly after sunset and had no problem finding his grave. As I stood by his headstone, I noticed that the new moon (representing mother) was on the western horizon, and the planet Saturn (representing father) was to the east.
After three years of patiently waiting for the Universe to provide me with the means necessary to pay my respects, I was relieved to visit his grave finally. The stars in the night sky made everything feel as though it was in divine order.
I said my hello and then my goodbye and set out for my 35th residence. An hour and a half later, I arrived in Wilmington, North Carolina, unpacked my rental car, settled in, and went to bed.
I reunited with my 60-year-old niece after she got off work the following afternoon. The last time we had seen each other was five years earlier when she came to Arizona to visit me during Christmas. It was so good to see her again. After a quick reunion, we followed each other to the airport to return my rental car and drove to a nearby school to watch her grandson play football. We had dinner after the game, and I visited her new husband, mother, and three adopted children.
The following day, September 21, 2023, at the Autumn Equinox, I changed my address on all my accounts and signed up for Social Security.
I had lived out west for eighteen years and left pieces of my heart in some of the most amazing places, but it was now time to focus on family and friends in North Carolina. I texted Tuwa at Hopi to let her know that I had safely arrived, and Ricardo and I spoke on the phone every night.
I was grateful to my friend, Scott, for funding the trip and for locating my birth father’s gravesite in 2022.