Rain was the tenth track from the Erotica CD.

You know, life can be funny. When you think you’ve gone about as low as you can go and feel like you can’t dig yourself out of the hole you’ve allowed yourself to get in, something or someone comes along just in time to offer a hand. That happened to me in January 1992, the night I met Joel.

As I said before, I had this one spot on the dance floor at the Power Company that everyone expected to find me in on any given Friday or Saturday night. If an out-of-towner came to the club and happened to dance in my spot, I would challenge them by dancing next to them and slowly moving them out of my spot.

One night, after arriving at the club, I discovered this young guy dancing in the middle of my spot on the dance floor. With my arms crossed, I stood beside the dance floor and watched him dance for a few minutes. I was instantly impressed. I walked onto the dance floor, moving closer to my spot with every new song. He didn’t budge. He continued to dance, and quite well, I might add. Within minutes, we danced together and put on a show you wouldn’t believe. Everyone was standing around watching; this made us dance even more intensely. My soul was soaring. I hadn’t had that much fun in a very long time.

At the end of our “performance,” we made our way down to the club’s basement and introduced ourselves. We exchanged numbers, and he called me the very next week.

At this point, I discovered that love is abundant energy within the Universe. If you can’t get it from one source, you most definitely can get it from another. I had focused all my energy on getting acceptance from my family, hoping they could give me the love I needed. I should have given them time and space and looked for love elsewhere. I found this abundant supply of love in Joel and could turn myself around through that love. Being with Joel helped me heal myself, which was crucial in my next reincarnation. I still had a long way to go and a lot of work to do, but meeting Joel was the jump start I needed.

“Your love’s coming down like rain, wash away my sorrow take away my pain.”

During this time, I put together a two-hour video presentation titled “It’s My Life,” which I planned to give to my family. Yes, I had gone from writing to making videos. I set up my camcorder and taped myself talking about subjects such as God, AIDS, and being gay. It was just another attempt to reach out to my family and let them know I was still around. I started the two-hour video with a song titled “It’s My Life” by Talk Talk. Talk Talk was my favorite group from the eighties. The lyrics to the song expressed everything I was feeling, and, to this day, it is my favorite non-Madonna song of all time.

Slowly, I could feel myself regaining my strength and courage. I could also feel God’s love washing over me. I was extremely grateful that Joel had come into my life when he did, and I hoped I had a positive influence on him, too.

One night, as I finished my two-hour documentary, Joel and I were partying and dancing around the apartment. I put on one of my favorite Madonna tracks and left the camcorder running, recording everything that happened that evening. I recorded the following video while Joel was taking a shower.

YouTube came thirteen years later.

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RAIN

I feel it, it’s coming

Chorus:

Rain, feel it on my finger tips
Hear it on my window pane
Your love’s coming down like
Rain, wash away my sorrow
Take away my pain
Your love’s coming down like rain

When your lips are burning mine
And you take the time to tell me how you feel
When you listen to my words
And I know you’ve heard, I know it’s real
Rain is what this thunder brings
For the first time I can hear my heart sing
Call me a fool but I know I’m not
I’m gonna stand out here on the mountain top
Till I feel your

(chorus)

When you looked into my eyes
And you said goodbye could you see my tears
When I turned the other way
Did you hear me say
I’d wait for all the dark clouds bursting in a perfect sky
You promised me when you said goodbye
That you’d return when the storm was done
And now I’ll wait for the light, I’ll wait for the sun
Till I feel your